I've had female friends join the site to get over 50 messages in their first week while I might get 50 incoming messages a year. So it seems that the offline culture of male pursuance and predation naturally translates into the online world as well. But does this heavily skewed system in which most conversations are initiated by men really benefit anyone? I'm getting ahead of myself.
Honestly, I think this experiment raises more questions than it could have ever hoped to answer, but it was kind of fun and really thought provoking.
Enough with the foreplay. I made a female bisexual OKC account of the same age using random pictures of a girl from another state (of comparable attractiveness*) and then copy/pasted my profile directly onto hers word-for-word. (I'm actually not bisexual. I just didn't think being bi as a female would skew my data and a sub-experiment here was to compare the number of female messages to male)
I set out to run the profile for 1 week and 7 days have passed so now I've got to shut her down and report my findings.
*Or at least, I think? This might be like comparing apples to oranges here. Men aren't traditionally thought of as beautiful and we live in a society which places more importance upon the outward appearance of women so you could argue that a man's appearance doesn't matter as much.
I wanted people to focus more on the lengthy profile and not to get too caught up in the pictures. So I selected a main picture in which you can't see her face well but that I guess connotes some kind of interest in art or culture.
It's interesting how reading through the same profile with these new pictures every sentence almost takes on a slightly different meaning.
If I'm too confident or assertive will people think I'm a bitch? In the copy/paste transfer had elements of my profile gone from typical to atypical?
For instance, less women ride motorcycles and work in film (I mentioned both) so maybe that's more appealing to men because it's a rarity and they want to date a girl w/ similar interests or traits like "one of the guys".
A woman with a two-wheeled vehicle?! Inconceivable.
I'm not going to use too many quotes or screencaps but I noticed that people are a little more condescending when you're a woman. I had someone tell me that I needed to cite a Mark Twain reference and another said, "Wow, so you've resorted to online dating. That's really sad."
If you've never read The Game or had an encounter with a self-proclaimed "pick up artist" then you might not know a "neg" when you see one but the idea is basically to play off of a woman's low self-esteem or insecurities to win her favor. Show her you're not impressed by her beauty and she'll be all over you like a bad rash or a discount poncho.
Or she'll be reminded of the father that didn't pay her enough attention growing up and she'll unconsciously seek your approval or something... Game Theory gets pretty dark and manipulative when you really delve into it.
Hey, some have got more game than others. Some were obviously fishing for compliments, some dudes were clearly way too old for her, I got loads of one sentence messages (the best of which simply said "yowza") but at least I didn't get any creepy threesome requests.
It takes all kinds. I even got a message from a 16 year old girl (which is breaking okc's user agreement policy) who thought WomanX was super cool.
Truthfully, many messages were kind, well thought out and the suitors genuinely had a lot in common with her. I feel bad that so many people wrote 4 or more paragraphs to a figment of my imagination, especially when some of them seem like cool people I'd be friends with. In fact, I am friends with one of them. I had a class or two with him in college.
But every experiment has to come to an end. After a week it's now time to disable my second fraudulent account.
So what was the final tally!? *long, drawn-out drumroll*
81 Messages (7 were from women)
Visitors per week: 120+
For comparison, my real account received 6 profile views this week and I got a total of 1 message from a nice woman who is engaged and looking for more friends.
This is already the least scientific experiment ever, but it should be noted that because of OKC's frequently used "Who's New" search filter that any new member should expect more attention from users during their first week than any other.
That said, the sheer volume of messages completely changes the user experience for most women on the site compared with men. It would take me hours to look through 81 peoples' profiles, pictures and maybe even "two of us" questions. One day I logged in and I had 12 new messages! I wouldn't even know where to begin sorting through all this but if you were truly adamant about finding a date whom you could really connect with, it might be something like a part-time job.
I'm also reminded of Barry Schwartz' The Paradox of Choice which basically states that the more choices we have to make, the less certainty we seem to have and this can lead to a real sense of internal angst. With 80 choices how can you be sure you've picked the right one?
After a while they all just sort of blend into an unruly mob that wants to get into your pants.
Food for thought:
* I never really accounted for race here. How would a racially ambiguous looking half-white, half-black woman do? And for that matter how does WomanX's tally compare with Black/Asian/Indian/Hispanic women?
* OKC match percentages work off of a wide array of personal questions. I answered a few for WomanX to the best of my ability and we're actually a 95% match! Higher than any other straight/bi woman in the entire Austin area! (Hah.. hah. Forever alone..)
* While some parts of WomanX and I's profile might seem as through they were written from a male perspective, I specifically stated that we were looking to date someone who would describe themselves as a "feminist". Who's more likely to use the word and who's more likely to be scared off by it, men or women? (These are rhetorical questions)
* I'm 5'9" while WomanX is 5"5" so you could argue that my height closes more doors for me with women than her's does with men and women. That's just one reason why I called this social experiment so unscientific, there are all sorts of little factors like this that could have played a role.
Conclusion: draw your own!
I can't think of any way OKC could change their site to create equity in who sends out the bulk of first messages. Online dating is just a reflection of the offline culture at large.
(Feel free to comment below)
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